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Love just Is... You only Get one Life - by Julia
The movie is fiction, yet in real life worse or similar incidents occur to compare.
Here is a short example of my real life similarity. Of course, this was only a crush and not true love. Its different from what Tori had with Paulie, which was real. I had been best friends with the best looking girl in the whole school for about 7 months. She was georgous, but had very religious and ignorant parents who if they had known, would have never allowed me to be friends with their daughter..
Crushing over someone who isn’t like you or doesn’t return the feeling always has a tragic end, even a small one. I was determined to keep my crush on Camila a secret until death, but as I later learned, alcohol is a great successor in revealing personal secrets.
I had to really fight my will to tell her I thought she was beautiful and cute, gorgeous really. I tried to bite my tongue so the words wouldn’t slip out. I brushed my hair back and tried to concentrate on one thing, the TV.
We watched several episodes of Malcom in the Middle and I couldn’t have cared less about the TV. She was laying on a pillow on my stomach, and that to me with heaven. An honor of the highest kind, for she was one of the prettiest in school and she was with me.
Dinner came late. At 8 pm I sat with her and her grandparents to enjoy the meal. When I finished, I left the room to watch a movie.
Her cousin followed and told me he was pouring me, Camila and him some wine in the living room. I smiled and followed him.
I took the first sip of the expensive French red wine and didn’t want to continue, but seeing my crush get bored of me meant I would need to let go and become involved. I drank and drank, and soon I had had over 8 glasses, feeling dizzy. I craved honesty, even if it meant losing her as a friend. I guess I must have poured out my true feelings, because she listened to me talk for hours in the night.
When I woke up, everything had changed.
I had a hangover and felt cold. The room was empty, her bed unmade and I felt alone again, as always. I walked into the living room in my blue plaid pjs and stopped. She stared into the living room TV and didn’t look at me once. I asked her several questions but she pretended I wasn’t there. Her grandparents also seemed quite distant to me than the night before. Had she told them what I had told her? The 3 of them didn’t care I was alone and confused. I entered the kitchen, spread the blackberry jam on my bread and ignored her cold face, knowing that she knew I was observing her. Why was I being treated with such sudden disrespect? She could at least look at me.
I didn’t understand.
Finaly, It was obvious I needed to leave. I announced I was leaving and got up from my chair, as she looked up finaly and seemed unfazed. She stared me down with icy cold blue eyes and a feeling of confusion washed through me, what had I done to her to deserve such a look?
She didn’t say a word and it was clear I wasn’t welcome to her liking there.
She needent speak, I left to the elevator and she followed me, because I left my hoodie on the kitchen table, getting in just before it closed.
“You really hurt me. Just to let you know.” I choked out as she opened the front door.
She didn’t apologize, didn’t speak. Hey icy treatment was too much for me to bear.
I grabbed my sweater from her hands and walked away quickly, with tears pouring down.
I decided to head over to my friends house, since he was probably home studying or watching a movie on his computer. I couldn’t and didn’t want to go back to my mothers apartment and didn’t have to the emotional patience to anyway. I was a wreck.
I went up and his mother led me through into his room, where I was right, he was on the computer watching scary movie 3 with a huge grin on his charming and patient face.
Oh man, see, I kind of knew this would happen…she is just so immature. You are not.
She just…hurt me so much...!! She just… I couldn’t get out anymore words to him.
The tears poured down as he comforted me tightly in his arms, embracing me.
She later emailed me, a whole year later after ignoring me for months and said she was “jealous”. Whatever that meant. She didn’t even explain why she was SO cold that day.
I didn’t accept her excuse. She didn’t have to hurt me like she did, but she didn’t care.
Because of her I wanted to die. Plain and simple. No one had ever hurt me so much.
I never spoke to her again and couldn’t handle the thought of that one morning.
This is just another example of how homophobia affected me growing up, she was too ignorant and biased to understand me and was too religious to accept me. I am a Christian, but I don’t judge others, and if I do, I try really hard not to.
Paulie is a cute, beautiful and caring soul who only wanted to be with Tori forever.
She didn’t think about it. She only wanted be to loved by one person.
In real life, losing my parents is a risk I would take, because I already know true love is hard to find. I know what its like to have no one, it can last for years, and its bad.
Victoria didn’t really love Jake, she just liked him, there is a huge difference.
The gardener is just a person who gives wisdom to others, regardless of profession.
I believe that the 2 teachers really knew that the two girls were a couple, and maybe, just maybe that is why they assigned Mouse to their dormitorium, to keep an eye on them.
Everyone says Paulie was acting “rebellious” and “crazy”. Well, that’s overated people. I would have done the exact same things she did, in real life. She is as normal as any of you people who talk about her being out of control. Is love not enough reason to act this way? What makes people think its ok to just sit and waste away, doing nothing? Love is worth fighting for, and the fact is, millions of people are too dead and cold to know this.
Mouse was observant and honest. She understands. She doesn’t ask questions.
I love how the film uses modern day Shakespeare to give meaning to the characters and plot. Someone once told me, “you really don’t get to chose who you fall for.”
Love just is. Its that simple. That is the best quote, ever.
Aside the point and a fact is, for centuries, homosexuals have been considered criminals, shameful, sinful, mentally ill, wrong, degenerates, perverts, sick, gross, disgusting.
Lost and Delirious challenges every moral, social and modern issue we have going, in terms of relationships. It asks the questions that we all fear, it makes you think about life.
I think it deserves to be recognized as one of the best movies in cinematic history.
I watch it every night, The fact is, it is a perfect movie to watch alone when you feel sad, or even content, it makes me feel human again, like I can breathe.
Believe it or not, the hurt and pain of losing someone, is enough to commit suicide.
Fight for love, don’t care what others think as long as you are not hurting anyone else.
This word is cold enough, add faithfulness and truth to it, instead of hate and ignorance.
Even if you feel alone, everyone is waiting for you to make the right choice, be yourself.
Thank you Pauline, Victoria and Mary, for everything. Lost and Delirious is truly awesome.
Julia, February 6, 2007